A few weeks ago we met the birthmother that is carrying the baby that we hope to adopt. We met in an office that we had been in many times - but we knew this was new for her, and we felt really nervous for her. I instantly felt a protection for her - I wanted her to be comfortable, I wanted to take away her fears and make her feel safe. I wondered afterwards if this was because fo the baby - or is it just in my nature to be kind and want people to be ok.
She is so beautiful - inside and out - she was calm and had a smile that lights up a room. She studied our faces, and looked at us for answers...but it felt very natural and it felt like a time that I would never forget. I have this feeling that she will have this baby and we will never see her again. She has a look about her that wants to know us to ease her mind...but then plans to put this time in her life behind her in the most loving way possible.
Its always amazing to me that perfect strangers can bring you such joy - or change your life in a way that you didn't even know was possible. I looked down at her belly and thought for that moment....our baby is in there, growing and becoming the person that we will come to know as our son or daughter. Is it a boy? Is it a girl? Does the baby look like her, amazing eyes, pretty smile, her calm way, her sweet innocent disposition? Please God let that baby be healthy!
My husband really liked her - she sat across from him and I could tell right away - they had more to talk about than her and I. She loves hockey, sports, and is easy going. This made me so happy. I was able to just sit and listen so that one day I can tell the story about the first day we met. Then suddenly there was total silence...for a moment I felt that this was a time that something magical was happening....all of us accepted that this was going to happen. We all looked at each other, smiled and knew it was time to go. We took comfort in it...we had accomplished what we had come there for. We all went home and watched the hockey game...in true Canadian form :)
We plan to met again! Maybe one more time before the baby is born. I hope she knows that we realize how lucky we are and just how much she is going to change our lives. We have more love and more space in our family for this baby....when this finally happens she will always be an angel that has touched our lives forever.
Life is truly amazing
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